Those were a gift from my boyfriend. Or if you don’t want to call him that, my very good guy friend. He gave those to me so I could use them. When I said I wanted to take them to university, you were the one who forced me to leave them at home.
Those belong to me.
ME.
Being the ‘ohsogooddaughter’ that I am, I obeyed. I left them at home so you could use them. But it’s natural that I point out the fact that those were a gift for ME but I’m not allowed to use them so YOU use them. And you’re hurt? Because I’ve mentioned it before? I merely said “It’s funny how he bought those for me but you’re the one who ended up using it.” I didn’t even ask for it back. I DIDN’T EVEN SAY I WANTED TO BRING THEM WITH ME.
Do you have any idea how many hurtful things you’ve said to me? How many callous comments you’ve made that really cut very deep? Things that I can’t actually help? Is it that bad if I ask the things that actually BELONG TO ME be RETURNED TO ME? More so because of the sentimental value I have. Because I really liked the guy. He was the first guy I really connected with you know.
I said fine. I said I’m sorry. I said I’ll just give them to you now so you have ALL the right to use them. And you said you don’t want them anymore because I hurt your feelings.
Do you know how hurt I was when you forbade me from taking them to university because YOU WANTED TO USE THEM.
He bought them for ME.
Dammit, I already have a shitload of problems that I’m trying to handle can you not add all-consuming guilt to my rap sheet? Because you know, every time something goes wrong, I think it’s all my fault. I think I’m the one who should be punished even though it’s not. I think that somehow, I’m the one who caused everything to go wrong. I’m really trying very hard to make myself stop thinking this way because it is suffocating. But you’re not helping at all.
Geez.
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