Fifty Shades of Gray

Sometimes, I wonder why I torture myself like this.

It was like a morbid curiosity, I admit it. People were raving about how good it was and other people were saying that it sucks balls. It was like Twilight all over again.

And it was like Twilight all over again.

I like a good romance novel now and then. I don't mind to read porn in public. I can do so with a poker face no problem. I don't mind kinky sex. If you're into it, more power you.

And again, I'll say for FSoG what I said for Twilight: Too drawn out, too draggy and not my cup of tea.

Not to say that it's not a good book (Cause what defines a good book) but the only impression I got off the book was that E.L James has written an abusive relationship instead of a BDSM relationship.

Writing techniques aside, though I do have some issues with 'Inner Goddess' and 'Self-Conscious', I'll have to accept that people actually do like to see those things in writing. I'll just move on to the actual content.

My beef is mainly that several times in the book, Ana ran off, saying she didn't want whatever Christian wanted to do. He chases her down, stops her and (imo) forces her to do it anyway. Even if she does say yes eventually, it still doesn't cancel out the fact that she initially said 'No'. If it was classified as non-consensual, or dubiously consensual, I wouldn't have so much issues with it. Instead, it's presented as romantic.

I'm sorry, what?

Alright, if a guy you like wants to screw you into the mattress but you don't feel like it and you say so but he does it anyway, how in the world is that okay? How in the world is it okay to tell girls all over the world that 'As long as you liked it and said yes afterwards, it isn't rape'?

The leg irons, the manacles, the edging (not being allowed to get off), verily it does occur in BDSM comms but not always. Restricting Ana's friends? Force-feeding her? Forcing her to accept things? In what way is this romantic?

Sorry, let me rephrase that: In what way is that NOT abusive?

Ana said it herself. Chris said it himself. He is a control freak. Knowing the problem, he should work towards NOT being a control freak, especially towards someone he likes. As his partner, Ana should be HELPING him to get over it, not putting up a token resistance.

I'm frankly more disturbed that the 'BDSM' lifestyle E.L. James presented is more like abusive relationships.

I've never practiced BDSM. I know of it, I know about it, and I know that trust is a huge factor in a D/S relationship. Trust is seriously lacking between Ana and Chris. Chris lacks trust in general.

If I recall correctly, Chris does tie Ana up in the first book. He spanks/canes/ punishes her but then rewards her with an orgasm. Then he just leaves her. It had me just wondering: Where is the aftercare? Ana gets really depressed after that, believing that he doesn't really love her.

Aftercare? What the hell happened to it? If you're going to punish your sub, or scene with them or whatever, always always always have aftercare.... Tell them you love em, they did well, or not, that you're punishing their actions, not them etc. I believe the term for what she experienced was 'subdrop'.

Okay, now I'm just promoting BDSM. Go Google it if you're interested.




Conclusion?

Fifty Shades of Gray is NOT an accurate representation of the BDSM lifestyle.
The relationship presented within the book is highly abusive. If it ever occurs to you, break up and run.
It would have been better if it were condensed into one book. Not three.